The Worst Official Video Game Merchandise To Ever Exist

By Dale Bashir on Oct 12, 2018

We love video games and chances are if you’re reading this, so do you. If you’re a fan of something, you would want official merchandise to complement your fandom towards a particular game or franchise, similar to how football fans wear their jerseys proudly every Sunday night. And yet there are times where companies just don’t hit the mark with their merchandise. Here are 10 of the worst video game merch to ever be available for purchase:

  1. Street Fighter Transformers

The first to kick off the list is not exactly bad, more weird than anything. Coinciding with the 30th anniversary of the Street Fighter franchise, came a crossover no one saw coming. Capcom and Takara Tomy came together to make Street Fighter Transformers, turning Four World Warriors into Robots in Disguise:  Ryu, M. Bison, Ken, and Chun Li.

They were basically recolours of the Titans Return line of Optimus Prime, Megatron, Hot Rod, and Arcee made to look like the Street Fighters. So yeah, not worst but still weird.

  1. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag football

Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag is known for taking the franchise to high seas and adding new lore to Ubisoft’s premier stealth franchise. What Black Flag is not known for though is definitely American football. While we can’t dispute whether pirates sailing the Caribbean in the 18th century ever played football on their long voyages, we can certainly say that this all-black American football is pretty left field. A literal black flag would have been a better pre-order bonus than this.

  1. Mario mouse

While Mario might never grace PC screens, that doesn’t mean there isn’t any official merchandise based on Nintendo’s mascot for the PC. This 8-bit Mario mouse was an official release from Banpresto, who are known for making all kinds of official anime and video game merch. What makes this mouse awful is the unwieldy shape as computer mice are supposed to be ergonomic and in line with the curve of your hand. Having this flat, jaggedly shaped mouse as your primary means of navigating your computer is just not the power-up you need.

  1. Devil May Cry 4 darts

What makes a bad official merch is usually the disconnect between the intellectual property and the product itself, in this case we got darts based on Devil May Cry 4. Neither Nero nor Dante used darts as weapons in either of their campaigns, but I guess Devil May Cry BB guns would have been too obvious. The darts came in either Dante, Lady, Trish, Nero, and Virgil variants, which just means it’s just different coloured versions of the same darts. Maybe this will appeal to that one DMC/darts enthusiast out there, but we doubt that this is a sought out collector’s merchandise.

  1. No More Heroes toilet paper

Suda51 is known for his crude, alternative sense of humor. His 2007 cult hit for the Wii, No More Heroes, personified Suda’s brand of humor with its gameplay and subject matter. With that, came official merch for the game in the form of toilet paper. Suda himself passed these toilet papers himself to avid fans who bought the game at launch in Japan. The same was done during PAX when the sequel, No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle, was unveiled.  Thematically it made sense since you go to the bathroom to save your game, but nonetheless video game companies shouldn’t be giving out toilet paper to their fans.

  1. Dark Souls 3 Estus Flask

The Estus Flask is essential in your equipment to survive any Dark Souls game; it’s a refillable source of health for your Ashen character and can help you in the toughest of situations. With a tough game like Dark Souls, a strategy guide is a must-have for a lot of fans, so when Prima announced that their strategy guide for Dark Souls 3 would be coming with a real-life Estus Flask, the fans rejoiced.

Of course, since its on this list, it was all for naught. The flask that came with the guide was a chunk of green plastic, shaped like the Estus Flask, but didn’t resemble its in-game counterpart. You couldn’t even store water in it, so it was that useless.

  1. Dead Island Riptide body bust

This special edition statue is more infamous than the game it comes with. The Special Edition version of Dead Island Riptide came with a bust of a bikini-clad body, all bloody and with missing limbs. Like the No More Heroes toilet paper, it was in-line with the theme and their intentions were good, but the execution was just abysmal. This tone-deaf merchandise was met with negative reception, as people responded with anger and disgust. They say that there’s no such thing as bad press, but then again we haven’t seen another Dead Island game since.

  1. inFamous Second Son condoms

It’s ironic that a game with the sub-title of Second Son would have a merchandise that prevents most people from getting second sons. As part of Gamestop Italy’s promotion for the PS4 exclusive, they were giving out two cans of Red Bull and these fluorescent condoms with every preorder of the game. While the protagonist of inFamous Second Son does have some light-based superpowers, we don’t think it translates into glow-in-the-dark protection for your nether regions.

  1. Fortnite gaming chair

As the latest fad in video game history, Fortnite is bound to have a number of blatant tie-in merchandise. This Fortnite gaming chair by AKRacing is as blatant and obnoxious as it gets.t’s like they just took whatever purple and white gaming chair they had lying around and slapped the Fortnite logo on it. Nothing about it is all that special; it’s still just a gaming chair. Whether it’s been used by Ninja and Markiplier, or there’s only 120 made in the world, it’s not really an excuse to price it at $549.00 USD.

  1. PUBG Frying Pan

The worst video game merchandise is also the most recent. Frying pans are an iconic part of PlayerUnknown’s BattleGrounds, serving as a handy melee weapon for anyone looking to be Winner Winner Chicken Dinner. Manufacturer Jinx took it a step further by making officially licensed PUBG frying pans, made out of foam and priced it at $29.99 USD. To put that into perspective, that’s RM 120 for a foam frying pan that you can’t even cook out of. Daiso has frying pans for 5 ringgit that you could buy and cook out of. Even for PUBG and it’s endless stream of bugs, this type of lazy merchandise is inexcusable.

As long as there will be video games, it’s likely that there will be even worst merchandise. What are some of your most hated video game merchandises? Tell us on our social medias. Keep up with Gamehubs on Facebook and Twitter to be up to date on all things gaming.

Dale Bashir
About the Author
I just wanna play video games.
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