The Top 10 Best Beards In Gaming History

By Dale Bashir on Nov 2, 2017

It's No-Shave November and its time to talk about beards, here are our top picks for best beards in video games:

10. Sir Arthur

The running and gunning hero of the Ghost 'n Goblins series, Arthur must defeat the army of Satan and save the Princess. While Mario might have been the King of Mustaches in this era of gaming, Arthur was undisputably the Beard King as he slings spears against hellish creatures without compromising the beauty of his facial hair.

While most of the time, Sir Arthur was only worried about losing his armor and fighting the monsters in his underwear, his luscious beard never left him and carries him through victory in Ghost 'n Goblins many sequels or the Marvel Vs. Capcom franchise.

 

9. Cranky Kong

Quite possibly the oldest beard on this list if you were to believe the theory that Cranky Kong was the original Donkey Kong from the 8-bit title. Cranky Kong's beard stretches all the way down, below his rocking chair. If he really is the original Donkey Kong, he really has shrunken down significantly, yet the beard is ever magnificent.

While he mostly ends up on the title screen of Donkey Country playing tunes or around the world map as a hints and minigame point for the player, Cranky and his beard finally made their playable debut in Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze in 2014.

8. Dr. Light

The Father Christmas-inspired beard highlights Dr. Light's role as Megaman's father figure who gave him the gift of life. Dr. Light is a prominent figure in the Megaman Universe, and his beard is no less a staple of his look across the Megaman and Megaman X games.

Dr. Light himself was actually inspired by famous inventor Thomas Edison, with his full name being Thomas Light and is also a pun on Thomas Edison's invention of the lightbulb. Whether it is in the flesh or in holographic capsule form, Dr. Light's beard is truly a video game beard for the ages.

7. Barret Wallace

Now, no one and I mean no one in the Final Fantasy has had a flat-top before, but Barret pairs his flat top hairstyle with a thick beard, making him look really manly. That and the fact that his right arm is a massive Gatling gun capable of ripping cactuars to shreds in a matter of seconds.

Looking like a mix of Zangief and Mr. T, Barret Wallace is a hero that hides a soft spot underneath all that stubble. Other than stopping a crazy long-haired genetically enhanced maniac crash a meteor into the planet, Barret is doing all this to ensure his daughter Marlene will grow up in a safe and secure world. 

6. Gordon Freeman

The silent protagonist from the Half-Life series has a somewhat simple everyman kind of look, a little dorky, but the beard as we can see shows off how much of a badass this theoretical physicist really is. With his trusty crowbar and gravity gun by his side, there's nothing this researcher can't do.

His earlier designs actually had him with a full beard but was eventually trimmed down for a tidier look. Whether Half-Life 3 really ever comes out or not, all we know is that Gordon Freeman's trusty goatee will stay on.

5. Naked Snake/ Big Boss

The true star of the Metal Gear series, Big Boss is never seen without his trusty beard. Unlike his clone sons Solid and Liquid Snake, Big Boss's beard never leaves his chin and is perfectly matched with his signature eye-patch and headband. 

Whether he is a villain or a renegade hero, the original Snake goes through the most change and growth. He may have a bunch of imitators left and right, but none hold a candle to the OG Snake and his glorious facial hair. 

4. John Marston

True grit is the game with Red Dead Redemption's John Marston and his stubble. This maverick of the Wild West catches outlaws, saves local towns and sheriffs, is a gentleman to the ladies he encounters and caps off his day with a ride off into the sunset.

A man's beard can elicit many emotions and John Marston's show his gruffness in the American frontier. He is fearless and noble, he is no typical cowboy at all. His beard is just as essential to his character as his hat and revolver.

3. Joel

Out of this whole list, Joel's beard seems the most realistic, maybe it's the graphics engine Naughty Dog was using. The Last Of Us's world is bleak and it shows with Joel having a beard that is surprisingly short, considering how hard it is to find shavers in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Nonetheless, Joel's beard shows that he's a rough and tough character with a soft side deep inside him, protecting Ellie throughout the game and tries to keep her away from the dangers of the world.

2. Kratos

The always angry, deicide causing, god murderer himself, Kratos goes through each and every god of the Greek pantheon with a tiny goatee, barely patching his chin while the rest of his head remains hairless. 

In the upcoming God Of War game for the PS4, the former Ghost of Sparta is getting an upgrade to his beard as this iteration takes a page from the Last Of Us by making Kratos have a full beard to show his underlying protectiveness to his son. 

1. Zangief

Possibly the manliest beard of them all, everyone's favorite Russian wrestler terrorizes his opponents with his massive bear hugs and mohawk and beard combo. Wearing nothing but a pair of red undies and a whole lot of muscles, Zangief comes with a full beard, robust chest hair and even some hair popping out of his boots.

Ever since his debut in 1991, not much has changed in terms of Zangief's appearance as he is already perfect the way he is. Whether its Street Fighter II or Street Fighter V, you know Zangief will come in all his hairy glory. He was even in Wreck-It Ralph with not a hair out of place.

Dale Bashir
About the Author
I just wanna play video games
Comments
Subscribe to Edge today
We need a new party member