(SATIRE) Asians stunned that Square Enix-published World War 2 shooter isn't region-locked

By Melvyn Tan on Mar 11, 2017

Asians around the world are stunned that upcoming World War 2 shooter, Battalion 1944, doesn't seem to be region-locked in Asia despite the publisher having the Square Enix name.

The developers had earlier announced that Square Enix Collective would be publishing their game, which they insist will not have "weird jetpacks" or "iPads of doom" that couldn't possibly exist in a normal World War 2 game anyway.

Loud but technically silent online protests errupted in various Asian countries at the sight of the words "Square" and "Enix" in the publisher's name when it became apparent that there was a space and no punctuation between them.

However, they quickly simmered down when it was discovered that the Battalion 1944 Steam store page could still be accessed from within even Asian countries that aren't India, unlike NieR: Automata's.

"I'm stunned, really," said Mr. Chong from Malaysia between mouthfuls of banna leaf rice.

An analyst, who refused to disclose his name and any proof that he is a legitimate analyst, said that he couldn't contemplate this turn of events.

"It seems that Square Enix believes that Asians prefer indie World War 2 shooters over action-RPGs with hot female androids that are waifu-material," he said.

"It's shocking that anyone could think that, really," the unnamed analyst added before unlocking NieR: Automata's "What Are You Doing?" achievement effortlessly on the PlayStation 4.

Some redditors have speculated that the addition of the word "Collective" in the publisher's name could be the key to this phenomenon, while others are still wary.

"You never know, one day you might wake up and find that it's suddenly region-locked," said a redditor.

Square Enix has not provided any comment on the matter.

Melvyn Tan
About the Author
Freelancer for Gamehubs since 2015, who enjoys various forms of entertainment including gaming (naturally). Was a devout servant of the Imperium, until he won a free Tau battlesuit.
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