Happy Chinese New Year! “Gong Xi Fa Cai, Ang Pao Na Lai!”
We are currently in 2018 and due to modern times, the number of annoying aunts/relatives that are ‘kehpochi’ (the word means “busybody” in Malaysian slang) would probably be on the down low. But to humour y’all, I’ve come up with some gaming-related responses that you can equip to your voice line wheel just in case the need to use such voice line do occur. Please don’t take these suggestions seriously and nor am I to be held accountable for any angry aunties out there.
The “busybody questions” usually revolve around your personal life (“Did you gain weight?”) and relationships (“Eh, no plus one ah?” or “When you’re getting married?”). To combat the barrage of unsolicited inquiries, you need to do the following:
- Equip yourself with some Monster Hunter armour ‘cause you need a thick skin.
- Make an appointment with the President of the Literature Club aka the infamous Monika, she will guide you on how to d_e_l_e_t_e your enemi-okay maybe this one is too much.
- Acquire some cheat codes to gain an upper hand on the situation.
- Ask Symmetra whether or not you can borrow her teleporter to teleport yourself outta awkward family gatherings.
I’m just pulling your leg with the above checklist. Now, let’s get down to business on how to handle annoying questions:
Deflect the question a la Genji’s ability
For every single question and topic, they asked, return the favour in twofold. Be sure to throw in some shade and clap-backs for good measure.
Say that you’re in a committed relationship with a video game
This method is more feasible if you’re someone who’s working in the esports industry because it essentially means that you’re telling your second cousin’s nephew that you’re married to your job. If you receive a curious look due to your answer, take that as an invitation to talk about esports or any topics you’re an expert on because this means that you’re now dictating the conversation’s direction and steering it away from any more nosy topics.
But if you’re not part of the esports community, you can still use this method, though your relatives may have some personal opinions on why your relationship may be unhealthy. #Toxic
Deploy the “streaming takes up my time” excuse
If you’re a streamer, this excuse is good as you can then passionately explained that you don’t have time to date or exercise because your time has been taken up by streaming; streaming is important because it gives you money (for some streamers) or fame (for some) and generally, a whole lot of #syoksendiri sessions of you doing some questionable actions with a pan in PUBG.
Exclude yourself from the narrative
Sometimes, it’s totes not worth your time and energy to say anything back so just activate your Caduceus Staff’s Guardian Angel mode and say bye. But we are not Mercy so to put a fast stop on an irritating conversation around a repetitive subject, you can politely excuse yourself to grab a drink/food/toilet break/whatever and move on. This will give you a peace of mind.
Lastly, enjoy eating CNY snacks, collecting angpaos, have fun and be safe yeah!
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